Fry Pan
Domestic Violence and Child Custody - From the Frying Pan to the Fire of Family Violence
Can we bring justice to family courts? That's a highly political question, and I think the answer has more to do with the nature of the human beings behind the system and the misconceptions of those using the system to seek safety.
We hear of battered women falling through the cracks of the system as much as those securing safety through the system. It is clear that those who fall through the cracks typically are in proceedings with a batter fortified with aggressive counsel, or being victimized by counsel, and in some cases both.
Thus, as long as divorce law is about one party annihilating another, mindless of the interest of children and family as a whole, then economically disadvantaged survivors of domestic abuse are subject to system failures.
Is Family Court the Proper Place to Seek Remedy for Domestic Violence?
It is also true that part of the dilemma is that divorce court is actually not the proper jurisdiction to secure remedy for domestic abuse. In divorce court in which there is a "no fault" presumption, responsibility for the marital dissolution is spread across the marriage.
The implication of this is that the perpetrator is given an umbrella to hide under and a way to deflect assuming responsibility for the battering behavior. Further and more equally serious, the victim is expected to shoulder aspects of the battering relationship that technically do not belong to her/him. And even worse is the ongoing legal permission to re-victimize the victim through legal judicial and psychiatric ploys.
How Can Legal Domestic Abuse Be Legal?
You know that abuse is about control. Well, so is litigation. Two parties in a legal action are essentially fighting for control, and the perpetrator thrives in this arena.
Now when there's a gross disparity of income between the parties and when the perpetrator controls the family purse strings, which is often the case in these relationships/situations, then the litigation can really be controlled because he who pays will most likely drive the litigation.
This party can taunt, torment and terrorize his/her opposition with legal stalking, financial starve out tactics and with the threat of custody litigation. Abusers know nothing will devastate their victims as much as seeing their children endangered. So they use the threat of obtaining custody to extract agreements to their liking. And this can go on indefinitely.
So instead of looking to change the family court system, or expect the family court to serve you differently, see it for what it is and seek to employ other strategies in conjunction with family court to arrest the domestic abuse and secure safety for yourself and your children.
About the Author
For more information about domestic violence and child custody, visit http://www.DomesticViolenceDivorce.com. Dr. Jeanne King, founding director of Partners in Prevention, helps people end and heal from domestic violence and the legal abuse syndrome.
When I pan-fry multiple batches of food, the oil and pan get dirty. How do I keep it clean for more food?
When I have too many items to pan-fry in the pan at once, I fry in batches. However, the oil and pan get too dirty and the latter batches come out blackened. Is there a way to avoid this without having to change out the oil completely and clean the pan between batches?
Just don't let the little crumbly bits that stick to the pan burn. If you have the time, let the pan cool a little and get them out with a paper towel. As long as you don't have any burnt food in the pan, the rest of the food shouldn't burn.
Also, it depends on what type of oil you are using. Olive oil has a very low smoking point and must be changed each time (that's why you should never season Cast Iron with olive oil). Vegetable oil and Canola oil have higher smoking points so you can reuse them more often, but they aren't as aromatic or flavorful as olive oil. I think that peanut oil has one of the highest smoking points. So if you really have to fry a lot, choose peanut oil. Otherwise, stick to veg or canola oil and you should be able to fry repeatedly.
8 inch fry pan
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