Piece Steak
Picking Up the Pieces
Picking Up the Pieces
This Alex Gottfried photo for a New York cover was rejected as “too glamorous”
Not everyone gets to read their obituary in the New York Times. Indeed not everyone gets a premature obituary in the Times. So I guess it was a triumph of sorts. I got fired and the paper of record actually cared. Friends from around the world saw the story and sent bracing words. I read it Wednesday morning with my heart pounding. Not exactly what I would have written myself but hey… almost totally kind. It was kind of a hoot. And a revelation. I never knew any editor objected to my choices of restaurants to review or chefs to pedestal. I just blithely danced away thinking if it interested me, the foodie audience would care and if I loved it, most of you would love it too. That same incurable… shall I call it confidence or vanity?
I do wish my critics and chroniclers weren’t quite so hung up on how many chefs or celebrities I bedded. (Funny way of putting it. Like who bedded whom?) But then clearly I brought that upon myself by being quite candid in my memoir. I thought it was amusing that I got led into the bedroom by the young and adorable Elvis Presley fifty years ago because I just happened to be the only woman in the hotel room at the moment of his between-concerts horniness. And that he asked me to order him a fried egg sandwich afterward.
The fact that I didn’t have the character to resist romantic dalliances with chefs while a restaurant critic has always seemed unprofessional and risky to me. But there are no secrets in the tight little food world. Oral personalities, you know. I thought it best to confess before I got outed. But if you consider that there were just three chefs and three restaurateurs in 40 years of reviewing restaurants, it doesn’t strike me as an addiction or a felony. I think it sounds as if I wasn’t trying hard enough.
I say thank heaven the Timesman Glenn Collins in his reportorial vigilance was able to reach Michael Batterberry the venerable historian of America’s dining revolution, creator with his wife Ariane of Food Arts and before that, founders of Food & Wine magazine. He put my unexpected forced retirement into historic perspective. “It’s as if they removed the lions from the library steps,” he said. Dearest Michael. And a toast to Robert Lape too for testifying that I haven’t lost my tastebuds or my bite.
I promise you won’t see me dancing with the stars.
***
No Lipstick on This Pig
A daunting assemblage of pig at the revised Irving Mill. Photo: Steven Richter
There are pig people and no-pig people. Personally, I don’t encounter many who are neutral about it in my crowd. When it comes to pigging out, it’s us and them, those who avoid pork out of faith, health, animal activism or fear of the unknown. It’s not that they won’t find sustenance on the menu at Irving Mill. I say, go in good health. Have the eggplant and ricotta bruschetta, the fluke crudo. Try sunchoke and hazelnut soup with grilled endive, the loup de mer with quinoa, walnuts and soy beans. I could easily go for the aristocratic chicken for two from Four Story Hill farm myself if I weren’t so distracted by so much porky creativity.
All three of us are swept up in Chef Ryan Skeen’s porcine obsession. “Oh God,” cries Ava. “It’s all pig. I’m having the pig ear salad.” Alas, we will not be tasting that cartilaginous crunch with radicchio, escarole and poached egg on top. It’s been "eighty-sixed", the waitress informs us ruefully as if to say, “And don’t blame me.” I look around the room with new respect – Is this a pig ear salad crowd that’s beat us to it? I wonder.
Irving Mill plans to add new art and more color to this vast sweep of room. Photo: Steven Richter
I never got to Resto where Skeen plumbed his fetish. But now he’s stepped into John Fraser’s clogs at Irving Mill. And overnight, the place has gone from Gramercy Tavern-lite to urban barnyard. Spicy pulled pork sandwich – two little sliders on soft potato buns – are frankly the least of it. But deep-fried minced pork toast – think shrimp toast in Chinatown – with creamy egg salad and a lick of caviar on top is weird and wonderful. Falling off the bone salt and pepper ribs, first marinated in soy and chili and lime, then braised, fried and propped up in a Soup Bowl – are merely marvelous.
We must taste the house burger too. Already iconic on the food blogs, it’s a gently formed chunk of chopped flap steak larded with fat back, running-red-rare, under a melt of cheddar in another soft potato bun. In the bowl riding alongside, fingerlings make slightly soggy, puffy little fries and there’s a choice of ketchup, mayo and mustard.
The Road Food Warrior’s pappardelle with a sauce of rabbit, roasted tomato and fabulous black olives only seems to be a relief from the porky theme but it’s not, given a sprinkle of guanciale (cured pig jowl). It desperately needs more noodles to qualify as a pasta. And after the greediness of our warmup, my charcroute plate seems remarkably daunting. “I asked for the smaller $22 size,” I tell our savvy and agreeable server.
“You got it,” she says, setting down a tray with grainy mustard, crème fraîche and violet mustard (with the flavor and tint of wine must).
“You sure someone didn’t just throw on a few extras?”
“No, that’s how it comes,” she insists.
The delicious rabbit pappardelle needs more pasta and less soup. Photo: Steve Richter
Of course I have to taste a bit of everything – that’s my job (even if New York isn’t funding my research anymore). I start with a cut of boudin blanc and the mini blood sausage (a special passion of mine, best indulged in measured amounts, alas). And with scholarly precision, sample a melting bit of pig’s head, some pork shoulder, some meat torn from one of the ribs (another taste to test consistency never hurts). My favorite is the pig’s foot, boned, breaded and fried into compact wantonness. Even a side of kale is lush, cooked in wine and shallots rich with butter. Indeed, the macaroni and cheese with pork rinds is the only serious disappointment. It’s not the pork rinds I mind. Pasta ears in cheesy sludge is not my idea of macaroni.
Don’t skip dessert. Treat yourself to banana parfait and apple fritters. Photo: Steven Richter
What we all need now is a trot around the block but I feel obligated to try at least one dessert. A butterscotch blondie Ice Cream sundae with hot fudge, bourbon caramel and spiced walnuts seems to embrace enough sweet endings to tell the tale. “Fabulous” is the headline. And since Suzanne Vega, one of the three partners has spotted me, apple fritters and banana “cream pie parfait” has been forced upon us. I have never noticed pastry chef Colleen Grapes before, though she’s been making the rounds since her first assistant’s job at Aja under Gary Robbins, but her remarkable apple fritters – packaging whole circlets of apple with cinnamon ice cream, seem to deem her for stardom. And the banana parfait with roasted banana ice cream, coconut macaroons, vanilla custard and chocolate layered into a glass is even better. Suddenly it seems criminal to leave any behind.
I find myself recalling a table of women at La Côte Basque years ago, sharing a dessert and then spilling water on it to discourage a rupture in discipline.
I definitely have unfinished business at Irving Mill. The partners are planning more artwork, more color, a more contemporary look. As if I needed an excuse to come back beyond the lamb cassoulet with leg, loin and belly, possibly also bacon. Brunch begins this week too, and Skeen is mulling all the porky favorites plus baked eggs with truffle and pork caviar, an oyster BLT, and cream of wheat griddle cakes with huckleberry jam. I like the way his brain works.
116 East 16th Street between Irving Place and Park Avenue South. 212 254 1600
***
I’ll Bring the Turkey
Host Ed Schoenfeld contemplates Jacques Torres’ brilliant bird. Photo: Steven Richter
It’s not unusual for a New Yorker transplanted from somewhere else that friends are my family, the essential “we” of me, as my real family is scattered across the country. For the past few years our “family’ has joyfully let Eddie Schoenfeld choreograph and cook our Thanksgiving dinner. This year Eddie and wife Elisa expanded the congregants to three tables. Eddie did wings and drumsticks only, which was perfect for this mostly dark meat crowd. Eliza crowned an eclectic feast with prunes in port and crème fraiche, evoking memories of long ago great prune finales at Restaurant Troisgros.
Jacques Torres had asked if I would like a chocolate turkey. “Take it to your dinner,” he said, “and tell everyone it was made by Jacques Torres.” Late Wednesday afternoon, I stopped by his shop half a block from my office. The bird was huge and gorgeous, sculpted in dark chocolate, and actually looked like a three-dimensional Audubon. My guy and I had to take a taxi for fear someone would bump into it on the subway. At Eddie and Elisa’s I hid it in a closet so no innocent guest would sample the noggin before its debut. After dinner I set the gobbler on a beautiful Meissen platter and delivered it to Eddie. A few of the guests stood back awed. I had to break off the first piece. “Jacques Torres,” I said.
“Oh, of course, Jacques Torres,” someone echoed. Each small bite led to a second. Unlike all commercial chocolate turkeys I ever tasted, this one was made from chocolate worthy of Jacques Torres.
285 Amsterdam between 73rd and 74th Streets. 212 414 2462
***
Honor Thy Pasta
Dinner at Fiore always starts with a grilled thin crust pizzas... Photo Steven Richter
For forty years my life has pretty much revolved around dinner (with time out for dancing, sex and falling in love) so why would it change, especially at this, the foodiest time of the year?
On Saturday night we drove with friends to our beloved Fiore in Williamsburg, just four of us. We hadn’t been since late June when our good pals took their car and moved out to the lake for the summer. In Brooklyn no one seems to know I’ve been fired and I don’t have to be brave and pretend I’m okay. A hug from chef-owner Roberto Aita could be simply a welcome back. He puts us at a table against the door to the garden, right behind where he stands directing the kitchen from the pass-through. A waiter recites the specials. “Is it okay if I do a few antipastini for you?” Roberto asks. We nod.
It’s difficult to resist the hill of fried calamari and zucchini at Fiore. Photo: Steven Richter
It is wonderfully distracting to focus on pithy issues like whether Hillary should agree to become secretary of state and what we’ll do with Bill. We sip Roberto’s recommendation for a red by the glass, Negroamaro from Puglia, and discover we agree Hillary will be brilliant and half of us think Bill will behave. Two of us think Bill is the jewel in Hillary’s crown.
Roberto himself delivers the grilled pizza al formaggio with two cheeses, tomato and black pepper, really crisp and a nice happy medium between refined and abundant. Ava and I are planning to share the mushroom and roasted butternut squash salad – back on the menu now for autumn. And then it arrives, a plate for each of us, different than last year. Frisee makes it lighter. Roberto sets a bowl of intensely sauced braised baby octopus on the table and returns with a mountain of fried calamaretti and zucchini to a few groans. We had dared not speak its name but confess that we had all contemplated and rejected it – all that fat. Mere putty in the hands of fate, we devour it. As always, Tim seems pleased with a generous portion of fish, orata tonight. The Road Food Warrior sticks with his eternal favorite bucatini amatriciana. And Ava and I share the fine seafood pasta special.
As usual, no one wants dessert after the too-generous portions and extras that arrive in you-can- go-home-again style. But of course a trio of desserts descends. Chocolate and almond cake. A lemon tart. And smartly tart lemon sorbetto that turns out to be the perfect last taste.
284 Grand Street between Roebling and Havemeyer Street. Brooklyn 718 782 8222
***
About the Author
travel & food writer
Is it wrong to want to slap a piece of steak on all balding people with polished shiny heads?
It just seems the right thing to do.
Not wrong!
I totally thought I was the only person who felt that way.
you are my brotha from anotha motha!
 |
 ARY SS steel 5 SEMI FLEX Boning Knife for food service made in England USA $8.99 Time Remaining: 30m Buy It Now for only: $8.99 |
 PAIR OF 2GOLD 3 Japanese Sushi Carving Knives 1 15 AND 1 13 STAINLESS 400C $8.99 Time Remaining: 30m |
 ANTIQUE CHATILLON NEW YORK GERMANY KNIFE Sharpening Steel $22.50 (2 Bids) Time Remaining: 31m |
 HENCKELS KNIFE SHARP 11 CHEAPLOOK 11 2 $9.50 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 32m |
 Disposable Plastic Spoons Cutlery White For Party and Special Occasion 100pcs $6.03 Time Remaining: 32m Buy It Now for only: $6.03 |
 Disposable Plastic Forks Cutlery White For Party and Special Occasion 100pcs $6.03 Time Remaining: 32m Buy It Now for only: $6.03 |
 ZWILLING J A HENCKELS SOLINGEN GERMANY Knife Sharpening STEEL $14.95 Time Remaining: 33m |
 SHENZHEN FRUIT VEGETABLE SERIES 2 PIECE Knife Set CERAMIC PEELER NEW GIFT BX $25.99 Time Remaining: 34m Buy It Now for only: $32.99 |
 Rada Cutlery Kitchen Knives Granny Paring R 100 $4.39 Time Remaining: 34m Buy It Now for only: $4.39 |
 Lot 3 NIB Sets Shappu 2000 Stainless Steel 10 pc Cutlery Set $20.00 Time Remaining: 35m Buy It Now for only: $20.00 |
 SUPREME CUTLERY ASPEN STAINLESS 20 PC SET $25.00 Time Remaining: 35m Buy It Now for only: $25.00 |
 HENCKELS KNIFE SHARP SERRATED 12 CHEAPLOOK 10 $16.51 (5 Bids) Time Remaining: 36m |
 CUTCO 1024 KNIFE AND 1726 SERVING FORK $19.00 Time Remaining: 36m |
 Mac Vintage Chefs Knife Chopper Santoku Cleaver Seki Japan Nice Used $61.00 (8 Bids) Time Remaining: 38m |
 New PERFECTION TIME 5 Piece Stainless Steel Kitchen Knife Set MINT NIB $15.97 Time Remaining: 39m Buy It Now for only: $39.97 |
 WUSTHOF SILVERPOINT Gemusemessers 3 Piece Paring Knife Set NEW IN BOX $22.99 Time Remaining: 41m Buy It Now for only: $22.99 |
 2 Heart Party Caddys for silverware napkin cutlery wedding baby birthday $26.99 Time Remaining: 41m Buy It Now for only: $29.95 |
 J A HENCKELS TWIN PROFESSIONAL CHEFS KNIFE 31021 200 $49.99 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 41m |
 GRAND AWARD Cutlery and Gadget Set Complete with wood storage block $12.99 Time Remaining: 42m |
 Cutco Petite Chef Knife 7 5 8 Blade 1728 $55.00 Time Remaining: 43m Buy It Now for only: $85.00 |
 Victorinox Fibrox 12 Inch Granton Slicing Knife Ham Slicer 40645 Kitchen $54.95 Time Remaining: 44m Buy It Now for only: $54.95 |
 Sunbeam Harwinton 14 Piece Kitchen Cutlery Knife Set NEW $0.99 Time Remaining: 44m |
 Cuisine Select Trivoli 15 Piece Stainless Steel Kitchen Knife Set NEW $1.99 Time Remaining: 44m |
 Cutco Knife Petite Carver 1729 $28.00 Time Remaining: 46m Buy It Now for only: $45.00 |
 JA Henckels Classic 5 1 2 Boning Knife New w o box $31.99 Time Remaining: 48m |
 HENCKELS KNIFE SHARP 11 CHEAPLOOK 12 $9.50 Time Remaining: 50m |
 USED CUTCO 1726 dark handled turning fork $23.00 Time Remaining: 51m Buy It Now for only: $35.00 |
 Excellent CUTCO Pearl Salmon Knife 1762 KI Made in USA Lifetime Gaurantee $60.00 Time Remaining: 51m Buy It Now for only: $60.00 |
 HENCKELS KNIFE SHARP 11 CHEAPLOOK 11 3 $12.72 (2 Bids) Time Remaining: 51m |
 Kitchen Fishing Fillet Knife red black Band Saw by Herron Knives $25.00 Time Remaining: 52m Buy It Now for only: $25.00 |
 Kitchen Fillet Knife Blade Blanks Set of 2 Band Saw Herron Knives $20.00 Time Remaining: 52m Buy It Now for only: $20.00 |
 Edgeware Counter Safe Deluxe Knife Scissors Sharpener Sharpen Knives Tool $7.49 Time Remaining: 52m |
 Kitchen Paring Knife Blade Blanks Set of 2 Band Saw Herron Knives $20.00 Time Remaining: 52m Buy It Now for only: $20.00 |
 Kitchen Steak Knife Blade Blanks Set of 2 Band Saw Herron Knives $20.00 Time Remaining: 52m Buy It Now for only: $20.00 |
 Kitchen Fishing Fillet Knife blue Band Saw by Herron Knives $25.00 Time Remaining: 52m Buy It Now for only: $25.00 |
 Chefs Kitchen Knife Blade Blanks Set of 2 Band Saw Herron Knives $20.00 Time Remaining: 52m Buy It Now for only: $20.00 |
 HENCKELS KNIFE SHARP 13 CHEAPLOOK 13 1 $9.50 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 52m |
 Vintage Unused Set of 6 Forgecraft Steak Knives with Wood Rack $9.99 Time Remaining: 54m Buy It Now for only: $9.99 |
 Vintage Marbled Handle CUTCO 5 Knife Set 1729 1726 1724 1721 1720 w Holder $78.00 (10 Bids) Time Remaining: 57m |
 HENCKELS KNIFE SHARP 13 CHEAPLOOK 13 2 $9.50 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 57m |
 CUTCO HOMEMAKER SET + 8 TABLE KNIVES +WOODBLOCK Factory Refurbished $525.00 Time Remaining: 58m |
 6 pc Carvel Hall Classic USA Steak Knives Carving Fork Silver Overlay $19.95 Time Remaining: 58m |
 3 Chicago Cutlery Steak Knives Serrated Blade Stainless Flatware Silverware $9.95 Time Remaining: 58m |
 Cutco Homemaker Honey Oak 10 Slot Knife Block Solid Oak Wood $56.00 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 59m |
 HENCKELS KNIFE SHARP 12 CHEAPLOOK 14 $9.50 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 59m |
 Laguiole Jean DuBost Stainless Steel set of 6 steak knives Made in France NIB $21.95 Time Remaining: 1h 1m Buy It Now for only: $39.95 |
 EXCLNT 5 YATAGAN VTG 60S PARING Utility Knife CASE XX CAP 282 5 $26.95 Time Remaining: 1h 3m Buy It Now for only: $26.95 |
 WUSTHOF SILVERPOINT II KNIFE 10PC Block Set 1515 SOLINGEN GERMANY $159.99 Time Remaining: 1h 4m Buy It Now for only: $159.99 |
 Vintage RHForschner Co Victorinox Swiss SS Serrated Bread Knife EUC NR $8.50 (4 Bids) Time Remaining: 1h 4m |
 Vintage Hampton Forge Stainless Chef Knife EUC No Reserve $4.99 Time Remaining: 1h 4m |
 HAMMER STAHL 35 PARING KNIFE 100 GENUINE BRAND NEW in ORIGINAL PACKAGI $59.99 Time Remaining: 1h 6m Buy It Now for only: $69.99 |
 Ontario Old Hickory Cutlery 7 Butcher Knife 7 7 NEW $6.95 Time Remaining: 1h 8m Buy It Now for only: $6.95 |
 Ergo Chef Guy Fieri KnuckleSandwich 2 piece Carving Set $76.90 Time Remaining: 1h 9m Buy It Now for only: $76.90 |
 Cutco 1768 Spatula Spreader Cheese Knife $27.00 (14 Bids) Time Remaining: 1h 13m |
 MASTER GRADE Outdoor DC Knife Sharpener 110V w access $299.00 Time Remaining: 1h 13m Buy It Now for only: $299.00 |
 BRAND NEW Paula Deen 8 PC 5 STEAK KNIVES KITCHEN SHEARS DB $28.95 Time Remaining: 1h 13m |
 Farberware 3 Piece Knife Set 5072458 $20.00 Time Remaining: 1h 13m Buy It Now for only: $20.00 |
 CARDEW DESIGN ALICE IN WONDERLAND 2 HANDLE MUG BOWL $53.44 Time Remaining: 1h 13m Buy It Now for only: $53.44 |
 Forever Sharp Knife Kit $50.00 Time Remaining: 1h 14m Buy It Now for only: $50.00 |
 Potato Peeler Stainless Steel Lot of 35 Quikut Made in USA $14.99 Time Remaining: 1h 15m Buy It Now for only: $17.50 |
"In Association with Amazon"
 |
Victorinox 40520 Fibrox 8-Inch Chef's Knife List Price: Sale Price: $24.72 You save: $15.28 (38%)  |
 |
Totally Bamboo 20-7930 3-Piece Cutting Board Set Sale Price: $14.95 |
 |
Ginsu 04817 International Traditions 14-Piece Knife Set with Block, Natural List Price: Sale Price: $27.60 You save: $22.39 (45%) |
 |
Presto 08800 EverSharp electric knife sharpener List Price: Sale Price: $27.54 You save: $12.45 (31%) |
 |
Simply Calphalon Nonstick 6-Piece Bakeware Set List Price: Sale Price: $24.99 You save: $5.00 (17%) |
 |
Victorinox 47508 3-1/4-Inch Paring Knife List Price: Sale Price: $4.38 You save: $3.42 (44%) |
 |
Cuisinart DLC-2009CHB Prep 9 9-Cup Food Processor, Brushed Stainless List Price: Sale Price: $117.99 You save: $172.01 (59%) |
 |
John Boos Mystery Oil Butcher Block Oil List Price: Sale Price: $6.95 You save: $8.00 (54%) |
 |
J.A. Henckels International Eversharp 8-Piece Steak Knife Set List Price: Sale Price: $24.99 You save: $35.01 (58%) |
 |
ChicagoCutlery Fusion 18-Piece Set including Honey Maple Wood Block List Price: Sale Price: $84.99 You save: $95.00 (53%) |
Thank You
We hope you found the
Piece Steak
you were looking for.